What Abstinence Is and How It
Works
There are two types of abstinence and both prevent
pregnancy. Both keep sperm out of the vagina.
Periodic abstinence is a way that sexually active women
prevent pregnancy. They become familiar with their fertility
patterns. Then they abstain from vaginal intercourse on the
days they think they could become pregnant.
Continuous abstinence is not having sex play with a partner
at all. This is the kind of abstinence discussed here.
100 Percent Effective
Continuous abstinence is 100 percent effective in preventing
pregnancy. It also prevents sexually transmitted infection.
Advantages
Continuous abstinence
- has no medical or hormonal side effects
- is endorsed by many religious groups
Everyone is sexual
Practicing abstinence does not mean a person is sexless.
Almost all women and men are abstinent at some time in their
lives. It can be a positive way of dealing with sexuality —
as a well thought-out choice regarding one's body, mind,
spirit, and sexual health. Some abstinent women and men
enjoy "sexy" thoughts and feelings. Others can use their
sexual energy for creative, physical, or intellectual
activities.
Special Advantages for Teens
Sexual relationships present physical and emotional risks.
Abstinence is a very good way to postpone taking those risks
until you are able to handle them.
Women who abstain until their 20s — and who have fewer
partners in their lifetimes — may have certain health
advantages over women who do not. They are less likely to
- get sexually transmitted infections
- become infertile
- develop cancer of the cervix
Reasons Why People Choose to
Abstain
Women and men abstain from sex play for many reasons — even
after they've been sexually active. These reasons change
throughout life.
People choose abstinence to
- wait until they're ready for a sexual relationship
- wait to find the "right" partner
- support personal, moral, or religious beliefs and
values
- deal with separation from a partner
- get over a breakup
- heal from the death of a partner
- have fun with friends without sexual involvement
- pursue school, career, or extracurricular activities
- prevent pregnancy
- prevent sexually transmitted infection
- follow medical advice during an illness or infection
Any woman or man can abstain from sex play. Many do so at
various times in their lives. Some choose to do so all their
lives.
Possible Problems
People may find it difficult to abstain for long periods
of time.
Women and men often end their abstinence without being
prepared to protect themselves against pregnancy or infection.
Staying Abstinent
Before you need to make a sexual
decision
Women and men need to be clear about their reasons and values
to stay abstinent. When you are in a sexual situation, it
helps to be able to remember why you made the decision to be
abstinent in the first place. How can you stay abstinent?
Think about your answers to these questions:
- Am I aware of situations that could make staying
abstinent difficult for me? Can I avoid them?
- I know alcohol and other drugs can affect my judgment
and decision-making ability. How do I feel about not using
them?
- Are there people in my life I can talk to about my
decision to abstain from sex play? Will they be supportive?
When you need to make a sexual
decision
Abstinence can be difficult for some people, especially in a
sexual situation.
Remind yourself why you chose to be abstinent.
Think about the consequences.
Don't reevaluate your decision to stay abstinent during
sexual situations — stick with your decision until you can
think about it with a clear head.
Most people stop being abstinent at some point in their
lives. When you decide not to be abstinent, ask yourself
- Do I have information about and access to other methods
of birth control?
- Do I know how to protect myself from infection?
Talking About Abstinence
- Talking with your partner about your decision to abstain
from sex play is important. Partners need to be honest with
each other and make sexual decisions together. These are
some of the best ways to keep a relationship happy. Even so,
it may not be easy to do. You may feel awkward or
embarrassed.
- It's best to talk about your feelings before things get
sexual. For many people it's hard to be clear about what
they want when they are aroused. It is helpful to think —
ahead of time — about how you can say "no" to sex play. What
behavior will be clear? What words will be best? You can
practice saying the words out loud. Then think about how
someone could respond to you.
- Take the time to consider fully what being abstinent
will mean for you. It is important to know what you are
thinking and feeling and what you need. Then you can tell
your partner about it.
- Be straightforward about the limits you want to set.
Being in a Relationship and Being
Abstinent
Being sexual is not the only way two people can get to know
each other. Sex play is also not the only way couples can be
intimate, or close. People get closer as they build trust and
intimacy by
- talking
- listening
- sharing
- being honest
- respecting each other's thoughts and feelings
- having fun together
Abstinence can only work when both partners agree to it. So
it is also helpful to keep talking to each other about why
you've agreed to abstain from sex play. Your relationship may
change. And your decision to be abstinent may change, too.
Cost
Most methods of birth control have some cost. Abstinence costs
nothing.
To find out about other methods of contraception, read
Facts About Birth Control.
Your contraceptive needs may change throughout your life.
To decide which method to use now, consider how well each one
will work for you:
- How well will it fit into your lifestyle?
- How convenient will it be?
- How effective will it be?
- How safe will it be?
- How affordable will it be?
- How reversible will it be?
- Will it help prevent sexually transmitted infections?
We hope this information on abstinence can help you decide.
This and other abstinence information found at
Planned Parenthood
