Dear Harriette: The first letter in a recent column was from a man (Ron in Brooklyn) involved in a two-year affair with a woman. He discovered he has herpes and was concerned about telling his paramour for fear she would dump him. Your response addressed the need to tell her, and you suggested he talk with his doctor about ways to be intimate without infecting others. Though the response addressed the question, it left out what I would consider the most important considerations.

First, this is an affair, which suggests that one or both parties are married. The tricky question of informing their spouses is of equal importance to informing each other. Second, indiscriminate sex is a primary cause of sexually transmitted diseases. Without making a moral judgment, this issue could be addressed. Third, the man may discover that his paramour is the source of his herpes infection if he decides to be honest. Since both are involved in a secret affair, she may be the one withholding the original secret!
- Tim, Long Island, N.Y.

Dear Tim: Thank you for continuing this discussion. I rarely have enough space to say ‘’it all.'’ Your perspective is sobering. Who knows from where the STD came? Rather than hiding, this person, and anyone like him, should speak up. It’s the honorable thing to do. And you may learn more about your sexual partners than you ever imagined.

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Note:  Unless you’ve had proper STD testing, you can never really be sure where the STD originated so you can’t really place the blame on anyone.

Tags: STD, affair, sexually transmitted disease, sexual health

Has someone you’re dating revealed to you that they have herpes? Not sure what to do or where to go from here?

Here’s a bit of advice:

If you are not ready to take the risk yet then don’t.

Next keep in mind that you certainly do not have to sleep with this person anytime soon, so doing a little research to become more familiar with the topic is highly advised. Once you’ve done your own investigating into herpes and recognize the risk, you’ll be able to make a more informed decision as well as having taken the time to know whether this person is worth that risk or not.

The risk of contracting herpes is relatively high, even when dating within the general population, so that’s something you might want to consider. With as many as 90% of those who live with herpes not knowing they have it and possess the ability to transmit it, in some cases, you may be at lesser risk of contracting it from someone who knows they have it and recognize their symptoms and outbreaks completely.

There are ways in which the person who has herpes can help to reduce the risk of transmission to the non-infected partner such as proper condom use, abstaining from sexual activity during outbreaks and taking suppressive therapy Valtrex. Valtrex has been studied and has been found to reduce the risk of transmission by as much as 73%. That’s relatively high if you consider this person knows their body and can take all aspects of the virus into consideration when avoiding sexual activity that may pose greater risk.

One thing that MUST be considered when making your decisions is have you been properly tested? Not just the run of the mill STD screen, because those are not complete in most cases. Check with your doctor to see exactly what you have been tested for and request that you be tested with type specific herpes tests.

Once your results are back, you will know all details of the playing field and how best to approach this particular situation.

I’d strongly recommend never brushing off a relationship that could have rewarding potential on the grounds of a herpes infection alone. Had my husband done that, we’d never have gotten married and had the strong relationship we have today.

In the majority of cases I’ve seen, people who live with herpes and disclose this information to potential partners were not the ones who were deceptive when contracting it. In a large number of cases, these honest people are the ones who were deceived and should not be penalized further for having fallen victim to the desires to be loved.

Tags: herpes, std, dating, relationships, advice

In nearly every city in every state across the United States, every single day someone somewhere is being diagnosed with a life-changing virus called Herpes. Instantly that person will take their health care providers advice and begin using anti-viral medications. What they don’t realize is the herpes relief these anti-viral medications provide do not come instantaneously, it may take a week or even months for the anti-virals to begin doing their job. What the newly diagnosed patient will begin looking for immediately is a more instant herpes treatment in the form of topical ointments.

Herpes treatment is masked by a number of over the counter medications and ointments, herpes treatment also comes in the form of improved healthy lifestyle changes and proper diets. There are such a wide variety of measures that can be taken to grasp that immediate relief and they may only be a few steps away to your medicine cabinet or even your kitchen cabinets or refrigerator.

Now that you have been diagnosed with herpes, lets take a look at some of the more immediate things you can do to provide yourself with herpes treatment.

The first thing you should explore when looking for herpes treatment is a topical ointment. These can be found in an over the counter formula such as herpicine or if you would prefer to remain private, you do have the option of ordering products online such as H-Balm and Dynamiclear. H-Balm has been proven time and time again to provide herpes treatment for a large number or herpes sufferers and is pure and all natural. Certainly there are a large number of other products to consider. It is simply up to you and how willing you are to explore the various options when looking for an affective herpes treatment therapy.

The next thing to consider is your diet. The old saying “you are what you eat” has never been truer than many who suffer from herpes can attest to. Maintaining a more healthy diet can prove to be one of the best forms of herpes treatment and is readily available any time day or night depending on your own willingness to make changes in your lifestyle.

Although many of us with herpes tend to reach for “comfort foods” such as chocolate, nuts or even an ice cold cola, keep in mind these are known triggers to herpes outbreaks. Take time and explore these as possible culprits to your own outbreaks. Don’t get overly bothered by this fact, many people are known to live normal lives and enjoy the occasional candy bar without negative repercussions. Just know that taking that time to explore these options could in fact be an easily detectable form of herpes treatment.

For many years people have been stating that everyone needs to get the proper amount of rest. So many times our lives are so overly hurried that we grow accustomed to functioning on five or six hours of sleep each night. Lack of proper sleep has been noted as a known trigger for herpes outbreaks as well. Simply shutting off the lights and turning off the ringer, tucking yourself into bed a bit earlier each night can be a very affective form of herpes treatment.

Next on our quick list of affective considerations for herpes treatment is exercise! You’re probably growing a bit at the moment, but it has actually been proven that the healthier you are, the stronger your immune system is and the more willing your body will be to fight against herpes infections. Simply slotting twenty minutes a day for a bit of exercise can make a big difference in the suffering you do with your herpes infection and can be an affective form of herpes treatment as well.

While we are on the subject of immune system, take note that the stronger your immune system is, the better off you are going to be in the long run. Check out your local health food store for dietary supplements that can help boost your immune system and encourage your body to act in a natural way, as it’s own form of herpes treatment.

Although our day and age provides quick and convenient ways of doing just about anything you can imagine, when it comes to your body and your health, quick and convenient is not always the best source to consider. Take the time to talk with your physician, call the national herpes hotlines or support groups and discuss all the options of herpes treatment that are available and which ones will most likely suit your lifestyle best. There is rarely information available that can substitute the knowledge that comes from having walked a mile in those shoes. Herpes treatment can be easily found and implemented into your own lifestyle, it is all a matter of just what you are personally willing to do to find the most effective form of herpes treatment for you.

Tags: herpes, herpes treatment, choraphor, h-balm