Sometimes Laughter is the Best Medicine!   TWO LINERS Q: What's the difference between love and herpes? A: Herpes lasts forever Q: Which of the following does not belong: AIDS, gonorrhea, herpes, or Bill Clinton? A: Gonorrhea -- it can be cured. Q: Why is Michael Irvin (Dallas Cowboys) like herpes? A: He's embarrassing,  goes away for weeks but then comes back, and responds well to drugs. Q: Why did the dumb blonde name her dog Herpes A: Because it wouldn't heel Q: How can you tell if you're staying over at the wrong girl's apartment? A: The towels in her bathroom are labeled "His" and "Herpes." Q: What is a nyphomaniac's worst nightmare? A: Meeting a handsome guy with a real big penis and herpes. LITTLE TOMMY'S DEAD FROG One day, little Tommy wanders into the local brothel, dragging a dead frog on a piece of  string along behind him (Thud thud thud etc.)   He goes up to the woman at the front and says "Please, Miss, I'd like a girl please." "Go home, sonny" replies the proprietor, not  unkindly, "you're too young yet for this." Tommy reaches into his pocket and drags out a $100 bill which he slaps on the desk and  beams brightly. "Up the stairs, 3rd door on   the  right" comes the reply as the $100 vanishes.Tommy starts to climb the stairs, (Thud thud etc.) when he runs back again. "I forgot, this girl has got to have active herpes!" he cries.   "No way kid, all our girls are clean!" Tommy  reaches into the other pocket and another $100 appears. "Ahh, last door on the left..." he  is  told.Tommy climbs the stairs, still dragging the dead frog on the string (thud thud thud), and  some time later reappears. He waves to the woman at the front desk and is about to go out (with frog) when she calls him back. "I can understand curiosity at your age," she says,  "but why the active herpes?""Well," says Tommy, "when I go home, the babysitter will be there. I'll screw her before she goes home and she'll get the herpes. Later on, dad'll take her home and have her in the back of the Mercedes, and he'll get the herpes. Later on, he'll get back and jump on  mummy and she will get the herpes too. In the morning, daddy'll go to work, the milkman will come and get in bed with mummy and he'll get the herpes and HE'S THE BASTARD WHO RAN OVER MY FROG!" JEWISH HERPES There were two Jewish women (Ruth and Golda) walking along the street. Ruth says to Golda, "My son,  Irving, is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but... he thinks she may  have a disease called herpes. Golda says to Ruth, "Do you have any idea what this herpes is, and can he catch it?" Ruth answers, "No, but I am just so thrilled to hear about Irving's engagement. It's past time he's settled.  As far as the herpes goes...who knows?" "Well," Golda says, "I have a very fine medical dictionary at home -- I'll look it up and call you." So, Golda  goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth... "Ruth, I found it. Not to worry! It says...herpes is a disease of the  gentiles!"